On Big Bob and Miriam Pataki

So I think about Helga's relationship much more now that I'm an adult versus when I'm a kid, and I'm just curious as to others perceptions. For one, I come across a lot of fanfics where Bob is treated as this horrific monster and people just kind of...skate by anything that was Miriam's fault.

They were terrible parents. There's no real way around this, but I'm more sympathetic to Bob than I used to be. Strangely, though, I'm actually less sympathetic to Miriam than I used to be. Both are bad parents. But in rewatching I started to feel like Bob tried harder. He didn't do enough, of course, but he tried. A great moment for that is of course "Quantity Time", but my preference is for "School Play". Bob is so bored to be helping Helga learn her lines in such short notice, but when he tries to stop all she does is ask him and he agrees to keep going. Bob doesn't like Shakespeare. He probably doesn't understand half the lines. But he helps, and considering how little time it was he probably stayed up most of the night to help her.

Anyway, just kind of curious about others thoughts on this.

I'm probably sympathetic to both Bob and Miriam equally. I generally disagree with sentiments of Bob being physically abusive. Really his greatest crime is that he is neglectful. But, in his defense, I don't actually think he has any idea of the harm he's causing? I don't think it excuses anything, but the show generally tells us that when Bob actually NOTICES the damage he's done he is instantly and powerfully regretful. Especially with Olga doing so well (at least on the outside) I think he uses that as an example of how he's been right all along. IDK. Bob is very much a grown up Helga with an added heaping of toxic masculinity.

Miriam, on the other hand, I believe is 100% aware of the damage that is happening to her daughters, but is sunk so deep in her own head and depression that she can't even begin to bootstrap herself up to turn things around. It's clear that when she IS in a good head space (however brief those times are) she is willing to do some really extreme things for her children. And ultimately, she tends to give up a lot of her own agency and happiness to stay a homemaker. Though, it obviously backfires and she gets absolutely no real pride or satisfaction in running a household. I do wonder if the drinking is a side effect of the depression or one of the factors that led to it.

Helga's family is... a great discussion point. They're incredibly nuanced for children's cartoon characters.

I 100% agree with both of you!!! And yeah, I kind of hate fanfics that exaggerate the characters (more specifically Lila & Bob, although we do know Lila has a dark side) into making them complete monsters even though they aren't. Oh and by the way has anyone seen the tumblr post talking about Olga?

No, what was the tumblr post on Olga?

http://hillvalleycat.tumblr.com/post/126730773610/olga-pataki Here it is, like I know this thread is mostly about the parents, but I guess this could be apart of this? I don't know, but it's still pretty interesting.

Ah, yes, I had seen that before but thank you for reposting it.

I think the thing I'm most curious about, though, is when Miriam became an alcoholic. I think that would crack open a lot about the whole family. Did we ever see the grandparents, either? We know why Helga and Olga are screwed up, but why did it branch out differently?

These are the kinds of things I really enjoy thinking about.

Yeah, it kinda makes me wish The Patakis actually got its light of day. You're welcome btw

I actually assume that one or both of Bob's parents WAS physically abusive, which is actually why he's somewhat distant from his children. His ultimate fear is hurting them the way he was hurt. He doesn't realize that there are other ways to fuck up a kid.

LeSkuh wrote:I actually assume that one or both of Bob's parents WAS physically abusive, which is actually why he's somewhat distant from his children.  His ultimate fear is hurting them the way he was hurt.  He doesn't realize that there are other ways to fuck up a kid.

Wow I actually feel really (I mean REALLY) bad for him now. I don't want to know what they did to him and if this did actually happen, this is extremely dark and depressing.

LeSkuh wrote:I actually assume that one or both of Bob's parents WAS physically abusive, which is actually why he's somewhat distant from his children.  His ultimate fear is hurting them the way he was hurt.  He doesn't realize that there are other ways to fuck up a kid.

This is definitely head canon for me. There have been multiple instances where he has shown that, yes, he does love Helga in his own way. He does put himself above his family, but for the most part, it’s his warped thinking he’s doing what’s best. But then he does show his good side which, to me, proves to the audience that he’s not as horrible as people make him out to bed. Bad, yes, but not the ultimate bad guy.

Of course, to a child of 9 and younger, he is. But I don't think he would never lay a hand on his family nor would he do any type of other physical abuse. Emotional, yes, but not in the degree that fanon has made it.

Marie Allen wrote:

LeSkuh wrote:I actually assume that one or both of Bob's parents WAS physically abusive, which is actually why he's somewhat distant from his children.  His ultimate fear is hurting them the way he was hurt.  He doesn't realize that there are other ways to fuck up a kid.

This is definitely head canon for me. There have been multiple instances where he has shown that, yes, he does love Helga in his own way. He does put himself above his family, but for the most part, it’s his warped thinking he’s doing what’s best. But then he does show his good side which, to me, proves to the audience that he’s not as horrible as people make him out to bed. Bad, yes, but not the ultimate bad guy.

Of course, to a child of 9 and younger, he is. But I don't think he would never lay a hand on his family nor would he do any type of other physical abuse. Emotional, yes, but not in the degree that fanon has made it.

I agree with this so much.